Ten captions that work on a faceless account

A caption on a faceless account has one job: give the buyer something to reply to. It is not a place for personality essays, because there is no face to attach the personality to.

Specific beats clever every time. "Tuesday" is nothing. "Second pair today, the first ones are still damp" is a reply waiting to happen.

The ten

1. "Third pair this week. Running out of drawer."
2. "New socks, still got the fold in them."
3. "Which of these two, honestly."
4. "Twenty minutes before school pick-up, go."
5. "First time trying this angle, tell me if it works."
6. "These are going in the post tomorrow morning."
7. "Sore today. Guess which foot."
8. "Someone asked for bare. Here is bare."
9. "Last set at this price before it goes up."
10. "Name a number, I will tell you what you get."

The three rules underneath

• One question mark maximum. More than one reads as begging.
• No emoji strings. Two at most, and never a row.
• Never apologise. Not for the background, not for the light, not for being late.